So, this is my formal apology for the post that I wrote last night...How rude! How vague! How fucked up! Sorry, but it's really hard to write when you can't see thru the tears. It's hard to make sense of the emotions raining hell all over your body, when they are vast, and expanding in your esophagus to the point of oxygen deprived sobs.

I do feel a little silly about last night... but my puffy eyes and this gaping hole in my stomach are remnants of the very real, very raw, breakdown I experienced last night.

Normally, when the tears finally stop, I can see more clearly... but not today. It was a struggle to get out of bed... hells i feel like I'm fighting for my next breath...

You're probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me... trust me, if I knew, you'd be the first to know.. Everything in my life is fine right now. I have nothing to be moping over.... yet, I hurt. So emotionally, its physical. Pain sitting in my chest.. and ache that ebbs thru my muscles, down to the bone marrow. Is bone marrow supposed to hurt? Well, mine does.

Now, I have to go paint a pretty smile on my face, and pretend like this girl has her shit together, so nobody can see all the cracks that even super glue won't hold together.