How not to get a job.
1. Excessive flirting with the interviewer
2. Throwing the interviewer down on his desk and making raunchy, porn star sex.
3. Organizing the extreme messy nature of interviewers desk
3. Saying things like... douche bag... fuckwit... and twat swatter.
4. Picking your nose
5. Flipping your booger on the floor while answering the "What's your best quality?" question.
6. Farting in interviewers office when he steps out.. when he gets back... he'll know it was you!
7. Saying, "OMG whose ugly baby is that?" to the picture on their desk.
8. Adding a little bit of personality to your interview by telling them about how you discovered a black man's penis, is in fact, black... and not pink like the bottoms of their feet and hands.
9. Backing into your interviewers car, and waving at him as you drive away.
anddddddddd.......
10. Telling your interviewer that you really don't want the job, the only reason why your there is to make the unemployment office happy.
FYI.. NO! I didn't do any of these things.. but all things i thought about while interviewing.
2. Throwing the interviewer down on his desk and making raunchy, porn star sex.
3. Organizing the extreme messy nature of interviewers desk
3. Saying things like... douche bag... fuckwit... and twat swatter.
4. Picking your nose
5. Flipping your booger on the floor while answering the "What's your best quality?" question.
6. Farting in interviewers office when he steps out.. when he gets back... he'll know it was you!
7. Saying, "OMG whose ugly baby is that?" to the picture on their desk.
8. Adding a little bit of personality to your interview by telling them about how you discovered a black man's penis, is in fact, black... and not pink like the bottoms of their feet and hands.
9. Backing into your interviewers car, and waving at him as you drive away.
anddddddddd.......
10. Telling your interviewer that you really don't want the job, the only reason why your there is to make the unemployment office happy.
FYI.. NO! I didn't do any of these things.. but all things i thought about while interviewing.
Elf wonders what you actually talked about in the interview as you went through the litany of fuckerly thoughts in your head listed above.
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Hmmm, number 1 and 2 would probably make me hire the girl!
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yeah.. but i have extremely strict policies on mixing business with pleasure... besides, I would have needed a paper bag to participate in anything extracurricular on his desk.
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hmmm...once while i was doing an interview, this woman professed her love of god and how she wanted to spread the word of the lord...mind you, that has absolutely NOTHING whatsoever to do with the job...every time i tried to talk about more relative topics, she would ask me if i had accepted god's love...
yeah...she didnt get the job...
oh, but i did have an employer inform me during the interview process..."we expect everyone to wear bras here"...
really??...i was 19 and it was VERY first interview...my reply?..."oh, well, i never leave home without one!"...
i still have no idea why that was said...boggles the brain, doesnt it?
cg
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might be mind boggling.. but tis awesome!
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Hell I'd hire you based on #2 alone, the rest is just lagniappe! High energy creativity honey
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ha! you wanna know whats super funny... while interviewing, he asking me. "What do you think is your strongest point." and I replied, "Well, funny you should ask that.." and i launched into the pre-interview pep talk you gave me and about how you said i had "high energy creativity"... he laughed, and said that was brilliant.. and I responded.. "thats how me and mine roll"... okay I really didn't say that, but i oh so desperately wanted to!
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A few years ago, a friend got me a job interview for a very large travel agency. The interviews were through a staffing company. I went to the first interview and nailed it. I got a call a few days later to schedule the follow up interview with the dude in charge of the Carlson Companies contract. Well this interview happened to be the day after halloween. My brother and I had annual costume parties every halloween. So I was an "emo-kid" for halloween that year, complete with faggy eyeliner - and more importantly - black nail polish. I proceeded to get annihilated drunk and woke up the next morning at 7 am. I got decked out in my professional attire, drove all the way out there. Ss I was walking in, I realized I had not removed said nail polish. I went in, hiding my hands as best as I could. I was led into the dudes office, younger guy. He threw his feet up onto the desk and asked "So, ya do any crazy shit for halloween last night?" Needless to say, the interview went awesome.
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